Dear Boss, I have an appointment with life

By Tasha Naatz

It happens to all of us… a doctor’s appointment, dentist appointment – LIFE appointment! And recently having to go to the RMV (Registry of Motor Vehicles), I pondered and experienced first-hand the question of “How to balance a personal life during normal, 9-5 business hours… and oh, a job too?!”

As hard as we try, we just can’t take care of all of our personal appointments during weeknights and weekends, especially when most of the businesses we are dealing with close right at the same time we finish work! These so-called “errands” become chores that spill over into our workweeks… where we somehow now have to find and ask for the time from our bosses and busy schedules for “permission.”

So, the other day as I Iooked down at my RMV waiting-line ticket, that read, “56 people before you” -– I thought, 1) This is going to take hours until I get back to work, and 2) If I am already getting the time off to take care of one personal appointment, how am I going to convince my boss that I also have to go to my doctor next week?!

I came up with this, not-so-shabby list of suggestions: (Because let’s face it, I had plenty of time)

1. COMMUNICATE! Talk to your HR department, other colleagues and yes, even (and especially) your supervisor, about how to best go about taking some time off, before the day actually comes. This way everybody’s expectations are clear, and there are no surprises when you’re looking for the time off.

2. Do your best to take care of any and all personal appointments outside of work. I know, my whole premise has been that off-hour appointments are basically not possible. But attempting to do this will only ensure that your time to have to ask off from work will be limited.

3. If and when you do need some time off, whether it’s a few hours, an extended lunch-hour, or a whole day – prove to your boss that you’re not just looking to get off easy and try to make up those hours somewhere else. Or, depending on what you found out in suggestion #1… perhaps even use a “personal/vacation” day off, if needed.

4. RELAX! Most employers are definitely more open to letting their employees take some time off here and there to take care of personal appointments than we might think, after all, they usually need to do the same things. So, don’t fret – just don’t make it a habit. Life happens!

Lauren, a wise colleague, offered a few great thoughts on the subject, as well: “As long as you remember to be as organized as you can, really communicative to your teammates and boss, as well as reasonable - I think every person in the 9-5 work environment realizes how important it is to take the time needed for personal matters as they arise. Productivity and contentment in your personal life is absolutely related to, and carries over to your productivity and contentment at work.”

Let’s face it, if you’re counting on a paycheck, the work is never going to end… and unless you’re a superhero, most likely you’re going to eventually have to ask for some time off from work for a personal appointment or two. So, it’s just about finding a nice, harmonious work-life balance (or, a personal assistant). And as for me, I may have tackled the RMV this time… but now it’s on to City Hall!

Tasha Naatz is an Entrepreneurial Associate at Experience, trying to find her "true calling". She has defined herself as a true anglophile, for she studied and worked abroad in London, though she has also ventured to eight other countries! Tasha's goal for the summer? To have a “good” hair day after her daily, overheated/overcrowded “T” commutes.

Learning to play nicely

Treat them all the same, or treat them differently -- is this a recipe for raising children or the latest management philosophy?

If you said "both" you'd be correct. More and more, companies (as do parents) seem to be getting past traditional practices of treating everybody alike. A recent Wall Street Journal article suggested that failing to recognizing generational differences is a problem that just won't go away.

We've talked about this before, but the controversy still remains bothersome. The Journal article noted that something as simple yet critical as passing along information became an issue. "The boomers preferred Power Point presentations, while younger workers favored more interactive learning methods," the article stated.

The whole theory of Social Capital comes into play here -- are you worth more as part of a team, interacting with others, than as an individual in the workplace? If you're a follower of the team concept, how do you learn to play nicely with others who are either older or younger?

If you can figure that out, here's your chance to test yourself. Tell us what you think is the answer, and we'll collectively tell you if you're right or wrong.

Late for work again?

Yes, I was late for work today -- but it wasn't my fault, again.

Have you ever used that line? Well, you will. It does happen, and for some of us who rely on public transit, it happens more than we'd like. So first, the reasons, then the excuses.

The reasons in my case are simple -- I take the commuter rail, and they're doing track work up and down the line. That, along with signal problems, switching problems and equipment problems, makes my commute vary from 30 to 90 minutes. (Note: if a public transit line is doing track work, you have to believe it's long, long overdue, and I think I'm happy about it despite the delays.)

The excuses: well, I could use the old "I was delayed by a rip in the space-time continuum", but around here you just mention train problems and pretty much everybody nods in sympathy and understanding.

So the real deal is this -- how do you prepare for this type of disruption in your well-ordered life and schedule?

In my case, it's a combination of things. For one, I try to take care of as many things as possible remotely, in the evenings. I know this is not an option available (or desirable) to everyone, but it makes sense for some.

Second, if you know there are likely to be on-time issues (whether your fault or not), talking to your boss about it in advance is always a good idea. Maybe the two of you will arrive at some agreeable solution, maybe not. But at the least, there will be communication about a (potential) work problem, and that's good for everybody.

Third, make sure you have contact numbers and/or email info for your boss as well as co-workers programmed into your cell phone. If something happens, you want to be able to call, or text-message.

I know you've all had problems with "tardiness" as they used to say in school. What would you suggest? No, seriously!

Communicating with Older Co-Workers

By Allison Jones

In response to an earlier post about being the youngest person in the room, someone made a great comment:

What do you suggest to do when it comes down to simple “chatting” or making friends? There seems to be so little in common with people who are 20-30 years your senior. I find that conversations start revolving around things that do not really matter to neither me (the youngest person) nor them. It’s definitely not a secret that if you are good company outside of work and can connect on something in common other than work, it will greatly benefit your business.

In my experience I find that people who are older than I am open up to me more once they see that I am a valuable employee who is interested in excelling and learning. However, making friends on the job never hurt anyone. So here’s how I managed to connect with the older people on my job:

1. Read the paper: Current events (especially local ones) are always spoken about at my job. It helps to be able to join the conversation.

2. Be genuinely interested: Ask questions about their professional life and slowly ask questions about their personal life. For example, “How did you get into this kind of work?” is a question that allows people to draw on professional and personal experiences. Once they share, highlight the value of what they say to you by offering a personal anecdote of how what they say applies to you or ask them to clarify what they say.

3. Be inclusive: Everyone likes lunch—so invite them out when you go grab some food. And if you are doing something new—whether you’re reading a book, taking a trip, or learning a new kind of technology—share! It’s wrong to assume that the generation gap is so large that you won’t find common ground or learn from each other.

4. Don’t be defensive: Every now and then a topic will come up and older employees will say subtly and not so subtly “You don’t know anything about this.” Children and marriage are the biggest culprits. Just excuse yourself from the conversation—you’ll only highlight how young you are. If the conversation is focusing on something you feel comfortable talking about, ask them why they think you can’t contribute and politely join the conversation sharing your experiences.

5. Accept the fact that the relationship may be more of a mentorship: While I understand that people our age have a desire to be friends with everyone, chances are someone who is 20-30 years older than you are is your supervisor thus making the friendship boundary a little difficult to cross. Additionally, think about what you talk about with your closest friends—now think if that would be appropriate for someone older than you. While you may not be buddy-buddy with the oldest people on the job it helps to have a positive working relationship with them that allows them to think highly of you in and out of the office.

Allison Jones graduated from Haverford College in 2007. She chronicles her life as a newbie in the professional world at Entry Level Living.

When HR does too little, or too much

In a previous life, I worked at a company with a limited amount of parking available for a lot of people who drove into work. One colleague, with less rank, privilege or seniority than others, did have a space assigned to him.

Unfair? Favoritism? Well, you decide. His car had been vandalized multiple times in the unguarded public area. The theory was that he was being victimized for being gay.

No one ever knew for sure if that was the reason for the vandalism, and even if it were true, nobody could imagine that fellow employees would do such a thing.

I guess I could imagine such a thing, but that's really not important (since I won't name any names here). But what is important is the way our HR department handled it.

First, they thought about his privacy and didn't put out any warnings or wanted posters. Second, they came up with a solution that resolved the immediate problem quickly without subjecting the employee to a protracted investigative process.

What they did not do was to take the opportunity to develop and present a program on respect and safety -- issues that would be meaningful to everybody. What they did not do was raise awareness that some people within the company might have respect or safety issues, which eventually affects a company's persona.

What else could they have done? What should they have done?

photo by meckleychina

Communicating with your boss: It's not so scary!

I think regardless of your generation, as a worker you want a healthy relationship with your boss. Acquiring and maintaining that relationship is no easy task. The basic component is good communication. Here are some tips on how to effectively communicate with your boss.

Express ideas. Speak up if you have an idea of how things could be done. Develop your idea fully and then suggest it to your boss.

Voice concerns. This does not mean complaining. Instead, if something is not going the way you had anticipated, let your boss know what’s not working.

Propose solutions. Going hand-in-hand with voicing concerns is proposing solutions. It’s great to be able to identify that something is not working, but better still is being able to offer better ways of doing it.

Ask for feedback. If you feel like you’re not being recognized for your work, ask for feedback and suggestions. There’s nothing wrong with checking on your performance and wanting to improve.

Get clarification. It’s ok to be confused. Ask for clarification when things are unclear.

Share information. Your boss may be smart and have lots of experience, but that doesn’t mean he/she knows everything. Share information, knowledge, insights, etc.

Listen. Most importantly: listen. Listening doesn’t necessarily mean taking and following direction. Listening simply means hearing and understanding the communication between you and your boss.

Can you think of any other ways to effectively communicate with your boss? Let's hear them!

Photo by CIO