Do you hate or fear change? Most everybody does, it seems, unless they get to decide what changes. As a witness to change the other day, I was amazed to watch it happen. Here's what I saw:

I wandered into a small store when the store owner received a call from a customer. He and his wife had been shopping there several months earlier, spotted something they (meaning his wife) really liked and he wanted to buy it as a surprise.

Problem 1 -- he was in Tennessee, the store was in Maine. Problem 2 -- he had been in the store several months earlier, and it was kind of a stretch to believe that the shopkeeper would remember him, or what he was looking for. Problem 3 -- he was trying to describe the item over the phone, and the store owner had a number of similar items.

The shop owner's solution? She took a few close-up photos with her iPhone, e-mailed them to the customer. He looked at the photos, decided which one he wanted. They talked, they haggled, they negotiated a price over the phone. She took care of the credit card transaction online, and promised the gift would be shipped out that afternoon.

Now a couple of things came to mind immediately. First, once you see it done, it seems like such an obvious solution. But the reality is that this shop owner was really smart. She was willing to push herself to find new ways to make the transaction actually happen. And it did work. And it was the first time she had ever done it, she told me afterward.

Second, she discovered a creative solution that could generate (there's that word again) a whole new way of doing business. Watching her, I was struck by what she did -- so easily -- and how difficult it is for many of us to make that leap. I'm not just talking about technology, but about learning how to adapt.

Every time I've ever changed schools or jobs or cities, there have been new problems, new challenges, but also new opportunities. Obviously this shop owner learned something about how to problem-solve in a new way.

What about you -- what's changed for you lately?

photo by Pink Sherbert Photography

Kate, what are you going to do with yourself when you're not in school/not so busy/not juggling so darn much stuff?

Really -- do you want to hang your identity on a label that somebody slapped on your back when you weren't looking? If you do, here are some of the common traits attributed to Gen Y:

• trend-conscious
• Idealistic, optimistic, and flexible
• Socially responsible; particularly concerned about the environment
• Very comfortable with technology; like to multi-task
• Have a hunger for feedback and rewards

Likewise, for Gen X, you'll see none of those characteristics. Instead, substitute:

• Cynical,
• Media savvy
• Individualistic and self-reliant
• grew up during economic downturn
• work ethic

So let's dump the term "generation" -- just for a minute. Let's say instead that you've been out of school for 2 years. OK, do you have that picture?

Now, let's think 12 years out of school. What's changed? Do you still frequent Taco Bell for your dinner? Do you still make the same mistakes on the job, and off the job?

All right, leap through time another 10 or 20 years.
Do you have a longer view of careers, family, politics, work ethic, important technology vs. gadgets?

I'm betting you do, and that it has continued to change and mature you, and will continue to do so. I'm also betting that this difference in maturity levels is what causes generational friction. Sometimes, you want to learn from other people's mistakes, and not repeat them. And sometimes you want to make your own mistakes.

I say again -- Gen Y doesn't exist. People do exist at a different level of maturity, people who have learned different things, perhaps, from others' mistakes. Perhaps from yours.

You can agree with me if you wish. But if you disagree, you run the risk that I'll decide that you don't exist, either.

Tell me off, if you think I'm wrong.

Photo by Ha-wee

P.S. Speaking of levels of maturity, I was fascinated by some major trending topics on Twitter this past weekend -- #balloonboy and #Sue Sylvester (look it up!) as well as #bostonisbetter. Doesn't this sound like "normal" times?

Sharing some Twitter conversations (in my Twitter alias -- ExperienceLive) with resume experts from around the country lately has been illuminating for me, since the topic of what makes or unmakes a great resume is like a bad traffic accident -- you just can't turn away.

Some of the "controversial" resume advice that I saw:

• one-page vs. two-page resumes (it depends)
• functional vs. chronological resume (it depends)
• objective vs. personal brand statement (it depends)
• not enough vs. too much information (it depends)
• hard skills vs. soft skills (both)
• keywords (yes)
• expertise, not responsibilities (yes)
• love of iguanas (no -- please, no!)

A few things are pretty clear -- there's a lot of confusion and a lot of differing opinions out there about resumes, how they should look, what should be included or excluded. How do I know this, personally?

True story -- I met with some members of a respected outplacement firm a while back, and they analyzed and helped me revise my own resume. Here's the kicker, though. After the first meeting with one analyst, I revised my resume exactly as she suggested.

The next day, I met with a second analyst, who also recommended that I revise a number of items. Fascinating, since I showed him the version with the changes I had made based on the first analyst's advice. More fascinating, since many of his recommendations involved deleting or changing some of the items suggested by analyst #1. (Note: afterwards, I went back to my original resume -- sometimes you just have to trust yourself!)

OK, aside from the question of who is really an expert, here's an alternate question: how much do you really know about good resume writing? After a lot of conversations about resumes and other things, I've concluded that most people -- regardless of the amount of career experience -- know more about Vampires than about resumes. And, despite its lack of depth in career guidance, you're probably far more interested in seeing a new vampire movie (Vampire's Assistant opens next weekend) than a webinar on resume writing.

What about you, where do you get your resume advice from? Career experts or Vampires?

[Vampire Poll update -- friends and experts tied for sources of resume advice. Twitter came in next, and Vampires did score 1 vote (let us know how you did with a Vampire-approved resume, OK?)]

photo by wonderferret

I [usually] do [more or less] my best to stay focused on work when I'm at work--but I'm gonna go ahead and admit that it happens with varying degrees of success. (And I say a silent little prayer of thanks each day that Facebook is blocked; if it wasn't I'm sure my record would be worse.)

A classic Facebook question -- addressed in a NY Times blog post -- asked the question, what to do if your boss sends you a FB friend request. It's awkward, because you want to keep your private space, well, private. But, this post asks, what to do if you also don't want to offend your boss (never a good idea, particularly these days) by declining?

Good, no, GREAT question. The blog suggested several things. One of these was setting up specific privacy lists on Facebook to control who sees what. Other ideas ranged from sending a polite note while declining the invitation to the idea of suggesting LinkedIn to your boss as a more professional alternative.

Are all these ideas good solutions? Yes, but I think they don't address the bigger issues. Social networks have evolved so quickly that most people have to struggle to deal. The first big site -- Friendster (anyone remember that?) just made its presence known about six or seven years ago. Now, people struggle to juggle FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace and Skype in their private lives. As more businesses try to reach a certain demographic, their use of all of these (well, maybe not Friendster -- sorry Friendster fans) is increasing.

We're constantly writing about being careful what you have on your social network pages -- especially if you're job-hunting. Prospective employers are always interested in the person behind the resume, and are smart enough to check your network pages to find out what you're really like.

A lot of people are outraged by this, and understandably so. One of our posts last year addressed this very issue. But I suspect some things have changed.

Yes, online networking has become such an integral part of our society, and especially the workplace (or the work hunt), that it has turned into a real dilemma -- both ethically and functionally. I think that there continues to be a gray line between work and private life (which I think is the same line you cross every time you work late, or on a weekend, or check email on vacation).

Should your employer stay off your wall?

Photo by avlxyz